


Words I Couldn't Say

by bluelapis



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Sick Character, asurei - Freeform, i guess, idk how to tag sorry, really short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 01:37:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7132991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelapis/pseuds/bluelapis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asuka finds herself in an unfamiliar room with a fever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words I Couldn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> For ayanami-rei on tumblr! its really bad but I hope you like it, I'm sorry :)

Asuka holds herself under the threadbare blankets, a cold draft from outside crawling through her wet skin. Secondhand sweat and rainwater coats her body, emulating a sickly sheen in the shadowy room. _How does one live like this? This is somehow worse than Misato’s place, and that’s saying a lot_...The room twists and turns like a circus house, blurring together in all her feverish glory. 

_Where am I? Why am I here?_ Asuka tries to piece together what she remembers, as if it was a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. _I was outside, in the rain…_ And then it comes to her, flooding her memory. _Ayanami. She was there too. I was feeling sick, so I decided to go out for a bit._ And then...and then, darkness. All she can recall was a flash of red light…

The first child’s eyes. Apathy, danger...concern? Of course not. That wasn’t in her programming.

_I’m guessing...this is Ayanami’s house?_

_Okay, but why the hell would she bring you to her house?_

_You fainted...it’s the normal thing to do…_

_She’s not normal, remember? She’s a doll! Dolls like her don’t feel!_

“I’m not a doll.” Asuka jerks when she hears the words, breaking from her train of thought. The voice is soft, gentle. She feels an unfamiliar warmth on her waist-Ayanami’s hand? It almost seems weightless…

“Or at least, I don’t want to be. I want to be my own person.”

Rei’s voice curbs, and Asuka decides to stay silent, her eyes closed. She probably wouldn’t telling her these types of things if she knew Asuka was conscious...after all, why _was_ she telling Asuka this, even if she was unconscious? 

“You were wrong. I don’t like Shinji.”

Asuka feels her face growing hot, and it isn’t from her fever. _Is she...serious…?_ Even with countless relationship experience, she never really felt as if anyone actually liked her for who she really was. Rei didn’t seem like the type of person to be fooled by looks, like Shinji or the other boys at school…

Ayanami Rei. She was always a shadow in Asuka’s life, a motionless figure that idiots like Shinji would cling on to, hoping for a sign of something inside. Yet why was she always there, her presence flickering in the corners of her mind? Why did she find the way she tucked her hair behind her ear oddly captivating? And why did such a bleak confession of...something...make Asuka’s heart flutter madly with a childish innocence she hadn’t seen for years?

“I like someone else.” Rei hesitates, her voice waivering. She’s usually so calm, so unemotional… “Shinji makes me feel happy, but...y-you make me feel more than that. I think I like you...I think I’ve known that for a long time…” 

Asuka can feel Rei’s small hand quiver, and gingerly holds it in hers. On the other side of her consciousness, Rei’s eyes widen briefly, before easing into a small smile. 

_Why am I so stupid..._


End file.
